lullabies unsung

I was surprised to find this website which shows a moving presentation on the emotional pain of infertility.  It makes those who have been through this feel a bit less alone, and helps others understand our world....

(By the way, there is music sung by Sarah McLachlan that plays during the presentation – if you are refraining from listening to music during the Omer, please turn off your speakers – the message is still pretty powerful)

IS it fixed yet?!?

I haven't posted in a while - one main reason is that I had been without internet access at my house since before Pesach. Yes, it is as painful as it sounds. Three Whole Weeks. Jeepers! And it was my own fault! *Somehow* my vacuum cleaner crashed into my precious computer in my frantic quest to clean for the holiday, and burnt out my NIC card. You know, the thingy that makes the computer tell the modem it's Internet Addict's Time. After many many hours & days of talking to some very sympathetic people in India, I gave in and hired a tech to come out to my house. Believe me, it's totally worth it. It's cheaper than therapy and just as therapeutic. I think my husband can call off the search party for his sweet & adorable wife. She's back, at least as long as this computer feels well. And I think I can give my broom back.

Adoption......

The winds are blowing in that direction.

It has been for some time.

Will I ever be a mom?

Will my husband be a dad?

What will be that be like?

Can a baby not born to me be mine?

So much unknown.

I want it.

I fear it.

So many thoughts.

We're tired of living without.

I want a child, someone

to nurture,

to teach, to enjoy, to love,

to guide, to be proud of.

Is this me?

Can I handle it?

Of course I can.

Of course we can.

I'm walking to you, child...where are you?

Please show me the way.....