The world is going faster than I can run.
In fact I can’t even run.
Not anymore.
Even if I wanted to, my body won’t let me.
My increasingly rotund abdomen is slowing me down to a halt.
My brain, however, is turbulent with anxiety, lists, confusion and disbelief.
There is a baby growing inside me.
The infertility depression has been traded for a huge slap of reality.
THERE.. IS... A... BABY... GROWING... INSIDE... ME....!
For so many years I have been dreaming of this.
This is what my husband & I have wanted.
For so many years I have cried for this.
And now that it’s occurring, I am scared to death.
Who is this creature?
Do I really deserve this?
Does G-d know it’s me he blessed?
Do I really qualify?
Am I really ready?
Please still this panic in me.
It’s all getting too real.
1 comment:
I'm always thinking of you (even if I don't write!) and hope you're feeling good, and that the baby is thriving...and that we'll only hear good news b'shaah tovah!
And yes, no doubt Hashem knows it's you and your husband whom he's blessed, and this child will be blessed as well, by having such loving parents.
(thank you for your recent comments on my blog; they mean a lot to me.)
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