It's Day #6 of No Chocolate.
I am on vacation for a few days. My husband & I have been needing to go away for a long time. The stress of life had been getting too much and a change of scene always does a person well. Except for me. As much as I criticize others for being too uptight and rigid, I am exactly that. I get anxious at the thought of a vacation. Especially when there is no structure. Something could go wrong and out of control. I know that sounds stupid and very uncool, but I have issues with not being in control. I don't see myself as a control freak though. We all have our illusions of what we think we can control. We really don't have control of much in this life. For some reason, even though I can get pretty unhappy back in my usual life, the thought of going out of my own personal chaos, something I am used to, is scary to me. So here I am, in a city that is at least 50 degrees farenheit more than I am used to January, and I am not relaxed. I worry if I am doing enough, seeing enough sights and wishing I could stay longer so that I can relax. I know I have to go home soon and this short trip will be all over. What will I get out of it? I don't know. But for now, I'll just try to chill and enjoy Shabbos.
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